Itβs gotten to the point where youβll be surprised if something terrible in the world wasnβt planned out in the Epstein emails. Youβll be searching for Wendyβs Spicy Chicken not hitting the way it used to and be like βwow I guess he didnβt have anything to do with that oneβ
Iβm the guy who invents new bathroom faucet designs for every hotel. You might know me from Knob That Goes The Other Way and Joystick Thatβs Hard To Turn Off. Lately Iβve been lacking inspiration, even thinking about hanging it up. Iβve had a good run, but β wait, never mind: Ball You Turn Diagonal
He just dropped $280,000,000 worth of artillery in a war thatβs not ours, but our grandparents have to live on Ramen noodles because America canβt afford Meals on Wheels anymore.
Make it make sense.
This is a metaphor more metaphorical than any metaphor that has ever metaphored before.
must be incredibly frustrating and disheartening to have federal funding that was promised to you for important work suddenly and arbitrarily ripped away
Inside the Department of War are two wolves:
"We've shut down the Colleges of War because book learnings are woke, gay, and irrelevant to war fighting."
"How come no one told us the Strait is important, there are different kinds of Kurds, Iran is big, and air power historically doesn't win wars?"
If museums are makin' you sad, maybe blame your great, great grandpa instead of the museums.
Letβs not forget that earlier today, this day was known as βwe cannot build bananas in Americaβ day. That is, until everything went bananas
leftists: that thing you teach us in school to be terrified of is happening
historians: that thing is definitely happening
star wars: here is a beat-for-beat breakdown of how the thing happens, but with pew pew lasers. we know you watched it
news outlets: these protesters are out of control
