This is a metaphor more metaphorical than any metaphor that has ever metaphored before.
It’s gotten to the point where you’ll be surprised if something terrible in the world wasn’t planned out in the Epstein emails. You’ll be searching for Wendy’s Spicy Chicken not hitting the way it used to and be like “wow I guess he didn’t have anything to do with that one”
If museums are makin' you sad, maybe blame your great, great grandpa instead of the museums.
Inside the Department of War are two wolves:
"We've shut down the Colleges of War because book learnings are woke, gay, and irrelevant to war fighting."
"How come no one told us the Strait is important, there are different kinds of Kurds, Iran is big, and air power historically doesn't win wars?"
He just dropped $280,000,000 worth of artillery in a war that’s not ours, but our grandparents have to live on Ramen noodles because America can’t afford Meals on Wheels anymore.
Make it make sense.
leftists: that thing you teach us in school to be terrified of is happening
historians: that thing is definitely happening
star wars: here is a beat-for-beat breakdown of how the thing happens, but with pew pew lasers. we know you watched it
news outlets: these protesters are out of control
Let’s not forget that earlier today, this day was known as “we cannot build bananas in America” day. That is, until everything went bananas
must be incredibly frustrating and disheartening to have federal funding that was promised to you for important work suddenly and arbitrarily ripped away
I’m the guy who invents new bathroom faucet designs for every hotel. You might know me from Knob That Goes The Other Way and Joystick That’s Hard To Turn Off. Lately I’ve been lacking inspiration, even thinking about hanging it up. I’ve had a good run, but — wait, never mind: Ball You Turn Diagonal