"Eric Hughes, who, while listening to his wife’s entire twenty-two-minute story about how rude Lauren always is at book club, did not offer a suggestion for how to fix the problem. He just nodded and said, 'Wow, unbelievable,' at all the right moments."
I was there
At all the cool kid birthday parties
At Dave & Busters
I DJ’d at the first ever indoor trampoline party
I woke up naked
In a Chuck E.Cheese Ticket Blaster Booth
In 2013
Bon Iver: Perhaps the most accurate term to apply to your situation is “seriously injured and lost in the woods.”
These hit very hard.
"We use narrative to make sense of our lives, sweetie, to give shape to the entropy of the human experience. I’m a man of a certain age, and I have needs. Specifically, I need stories about finding, against all odds, a great parking spot. Like right in front of the building."
“Brandon Jackson, who not only found his wallet without blaming his entire family for losing it, but also found it in the pants he was wearing.”
"Peace 1.0™ is a revolutionary conflict-reduction platform that leverages diplomacy, reduced bombing, and reopened shipping lanes to create value for shareholders, with potential benefits for people living throughout the region."
"You know how they celebrate Father’s Day in Germany? They go on hikes with wagons full of beer. Just a bunch of bros with a keg on a Little Red Flyer. Let’s normalize getting shithoused in the woods with your buddies instead of processing grief sober!"
Which Talking Heads’ song was re-recorded for the Irish market?
Psych O’Killer.
"Counting Crows: You started coaching your kid’s soccer team to make the other kids’ parents fall in love with you, but it didn’t work."
- Assume your audience has the same deep knowledge of local landmarks and geography as you.
- Deny the existence of digital mapping technology.
- Ask your audience whether they’re “looking to take Route 24,” as if they know what you’re talking about.
McSweeney's
McSweeney's
McSweeney's
McSweeney's
McSweeney's
McSweeney's
Luise Loges
McSweeney's
McSweeney's
McSweeney's
The War on Drugs You make your own paella and take super long naps on Saturday. Like over two hours, consistently. You prefer the smallest possible hardware ...
I was there At all the cool kid birthday parties At Dave & Busters I DJ’d at the first ever indoor trampoline party I woke up naked In a Chuck-E-C...
Barenaked Ladies: You like craft beer. Sleater-Kinney: You like craft beer and claim you were into it “before it became such a thing.” Soundgarden: You wear ...
“I’m straight-up begging you to give me the only thing in this world that brings me joy: a story about how you found a really great parking spot.” 6/17/23 6/...
“Peace 1.0™ is a revolutionary conflict-reduction platform that leverages diplomacy, reduced bombing, and reopened shipping lanes to create value for shareho...
