The official Bluesky feed of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, & McSweeney's Books.
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McSweeney's
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"I don’t have time to get into the two-point conversion, Tonya Harding, the Munich Olympics, or the 'Super Bowl Shuffle.' But you can’t bet on stuff like that anyway. At least not until the prediction markets that ultimately destroy the global economy. Don’t worry about it."
A traveler asked: “How could ancient people possibly understand mathematics?”
Excellent question. We accidentally invented geometry while trying to avoid carrying rocks incorrectly.
"Do not insult me with excuses such as needing separate browsers for personal and work situations. You damn well know that I offer multiple profiles in the same browser simultaneously. This isn’t a game."
"Just think of this shift like the morning we change our LinkedIn profile from our rainbow logo back to our regular one. It’s always July 1 now at Bank of Money."
"I forged ahead on a new media empire, one built on editorial independence and millions of dollars from venture capitalists. My goal was to unmuzzle those who have been silenced, like billionaire children’s book authors, billionaire music producers, and billionaire tech execs."
Fuuuuuuuucccckk. This just made me cry.
Has anyone ever seen Andrew Singleton in the same room as Ed Zitron? I'm not saying one of them is the other's secret identity... I'm just saying it's something we may need to investigate.
"Christopher Nolan's film should have geographically accurate casting—Greek actors playing Achaeans, Turkish actors playing Trojans, and Cyclops actors from remote Mediterranean islands playing Cyclopes."
“The game itself is basically the same. Sure, the goalposts have moved, there’s more passing, and science has shown that the sport causes brain damage, but a...
A traveler asked: “How could ancient people possibly understand mathematics?” Excellent question. We accidentally invented geometry while trying to avoid car...
“I implore you to weigh the consequences of your actions. You are damning yourself to a wretched eternity of opening all email and Slack links in Apple’s Saf...
“It’s been fun these past ten years. We had a blast inserting ourselves in your celebration. But the time has come for us to live our truths. And now we love...
“The truth is, at best, inconvenient and, at worst, a threat to my bottom line. I have always believed it is the job of the news to write a rough draft of hi...
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“It is clear that Hollywood has no interest in historical representation and is instead focused on pushing a single agenda—putting as many white people from ...
A large pot sits in plain sight. There’s a frog in it.
Every day, Leader announces his plans to boil the frog. His campaign slogan was “BOIL THAT FROG.”
A man stirs the pot with a large stick. “It’s a metaphor,” he says.
The frog is sweating.
"Xavier owns an apartment that he rents out at a loss of $1 billion/month. Seeing this success, he decides to make financial commitments to construct $850 billion in new apartments in places nobody wants them...."
"Oxygen is a vital component of human survival. It’s really no different from water when you think about it. Yet we spend hundreds of dollars on that every year, don’t we? If anything, we should’ve done this sooner."
DaniBananica
"It wasn't an easy decision, but once Brad talked to the architect, it just made sense to go with five stories, nine bedrooms, eleven bathrooms, and a six-car garage with a glass door that reflects the setting sun like the Eye of Sauron."
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A large pot sits in plain sight. There’s a frog in it. Every day, Leader announces his plans to boil the frog. His campaign slogan was “BOIL THAT FROG.” A ma...
buff.ly
“Xavier owns an apartment that he rents out at a loss of $1 billion/month. Seeing this success, he decides to make financial commitments to construct $850 bi...
“Yes, we know it’s a bummer. However, due to low ticket sales, low hotel bookings, and generally low enthusiasm, oxygen is the only necessity left for us to ...
“It wasn’t an easy decision, but once Brad talked to the architect, it just made sense to go with five stories, nine bedrooms, eleven bathrooms, and a six-ca...
