mfer could tell i was "working something out in my head" CALLED ME and had me WORK THROUGH IT omg wtf even alright then ALRIGHT THEN
god i just want to stop crying. i just want to be alone i cannot teach a man how to care enough to ask me how i fuckin feel. i am 40 i cannot do it. i would rather die alone
i cant stop crying when will this end i am 40 years old π
there was, in fact, enough xanax. man that gemini fucked me the fuck up
i want to take a baseball bat to data centers ala office space && focus all my brainpower on inventing technology for cats to live forever
i feel better, so much love to those who were here for me <3
a xanax and him actually noticing and taking actionable steps toward communication and solutions. im not used to that at ALL. my friends too, having safe places to vent my feelings before they could cause any harm. you, caring, not being judged <3
not knowing. thank you for seeing me, it is a lot to carry. but it is getting easier <3
i really fucking hope that being so horribly mistreated by so many people in my life && getting this fun trauma in return doesn't fuck me up in terms of relational romantic love for the rest of my life. it took me like 39 years just to love myself. everything is scary && hard. im always sick.