i feel better, so much love to those who were here for me <3
mfer could tell i was "working something out in my head" CALLED ME and had me WORK THROUGH IT omg wtf even alright then ALRIGHT THEN
TO BED WITH ME, THE LAST ACT IN LIKE 14 HOURS!!!!
god i just want to stop crying. i just want to be alone i cannot teach a man how to care enough to ask me how i fuckin feel. i am 40 i cannot do it. i would rather die alone
i really fucking hope that being so horribly mistreated by so many people in my life && getting this fun trauma in return doesn't fuck me up in terms of relational romantic love for the rest of my life. it took me like 39 years just to love myself. everything is scary && hard. im always sick.
