Working your trauma recovery w/ realism & self compassion today puts you in the company of the strongest, smartest warriors & poets & leaders throughout history-- & as far away from your abuses & bullies as possible.
Almost every good thing in the world was created by survivors.
Your mission in trauma recovery is your mission. What "they" say about you is their unhealed sh*t. It has zero to do w/ what you owe your "parts" & inner child today, how you use the tools of self talk, mental focus, & physiology today, who you are as a recovering survivor today.
Your least favorite parts of who you are are not the entirety of who you are.
CPTSD is going to try to sell you that bullsh*t-- that those aspects of you are the most "real"-- but remember CPTSD's goal: to make you feel like garbage.
Trauma Brain is an unreliable narrator.
One of the hardest, but most important, steps in trauma recovery is accepting that the "why" of our abuse or neglect will never make any goddamn sense. Humans shouldn't do that sh*t to each other, and it's f*cked up they do.
We can't hinge our healing on understanding evil.
"Just love yourself" is nonsensical advice for CPTSD survivors who have been taught & conditioned to hate ourselves. Love is not a switch that can be suddenly flipped on. We have to start w/ "love" the behavior-- i.e., self-care-- as we slowly build up to "self love" the feeling.
Heads up: Trauma Brain will try to get us to throw away or not take seriously recovery tools & ideas that seem "too simple" or "too straightforward" to work.
That's NOT because those tools "don't work." It's because Trauma Brain wants to deprive us of ANY tools-- or hope.
That sh*t happened. It happened to us. There's no therapy or miracle out there that will make it NOT have happened to us.
We cannot change the FACT of our trauma.
But we can change the MEANING of our trauma.
We can change our RELATIONSHIP w/ it.
We are not helpless.
Sure, the rituals & routines that stabilize & develop your trauma recovery might annoy or inconvenience someone in your life.
But then, if they're more put off by your recovery than they are about your pain, that kind of speaks for itself about whether they're on your side, no?
If you're going to use the language of "forgiveness" w/ anyone, start w/ your "parts" & inner child-- who don't NEED "forgiveness" for struggling or hurting, but might need to hear the words "no one is mad, & no one is in trouble" today.