Psychologist; SEEK Safely board president; marathoner. Realistic, sustainable trauma & addiction recovery.
One day at a time.
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If you're going to use the language of "forgiveness" w/ anyone, start w/ your "parts" & inner child-- who don't NEED "forgiveness" for struggling or hurting, but might need to hear the words "no one is mad, & no one is in trouble" today.
Your least favorite parts of who you are are not the entirety of who you are.
CPTSD is going to try to sell you that bullsh*t-- that those aspects of you are the most "real"-- but remember CPTSD's goal: to make you feel like garbage.
Trauma Brain is an unreliable narrator.
Your mission in trauma recovery is your mission. What "they" say about you is their unhealed sh*t. It has zero to do w/ what you owe your "parts" & inner child today, how you use the tools of self talk, mental focus, & physiology today, who you are as a recovering survivor today.
"Just love yourself" is nonsensical advice for CPTSD survivors who have been taught & conditioned to hate ourselves. Love is not a switch that can be suddenly flipped on. We have to start w/ "love" the behavior-- i.e., self-care-- as we slowly build up to "self love" the feeling.
Trauma "treatment" tends to focus on what's wrong w/ us.
Trauma *recovery* focuses on what MATTERS to us.
It's real important survivors be in the driver's seat of our recovery, not therapists (even the most awesome therapists).
One of the hardest, but most important, steps in trauma recovery is accepting that the "why" of our abuse or neglect will never make any goddamn sense. Humans shouldn't do that sh*t to each other, and it's f*cked up they do.
We can't hinge our healing on understanding evil.
