Dadaist graffiti news. Halfway true comedy and satire for your doomscrolling by Dash MacIntyre. I don't report the facts, I improve them.
Check out my Substack: https://substack.com/@thehalfwaycafe
The Halfway Post
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BREAKING: Prosecutors in Washington D.C. are reportedly opening a criminal investigation into Eric Trump's brazen attempt to rig the UFC fights last night, with several sports leagues proposing banning him for life.
BREAKING: Donald Trump reportedly fell asleep today during his daily "Person, woman, man, camera, TV" cognitive test in between "man" and "camera."
BREAKING: The relationship between Donald Trump and JD Vance has never been more strained or icy as it has become obvious to everyone that Vance is repeatedly leaking to the media about the Epstein Files and Iran War to distance himself from Trump's debacles and imploding legacy.
BREAKING: A liberal billionaire is offering $10,000 for anyone else who has authentic screenshots of DMs from Eric Trump soliciting insider trading tips or trying to rig a bet because, "Eric was so cavalier and arrogant, there's no way this was the first time he's done this."
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth is reportedly costing the government thousands of dollars in physical therapy costs because he keeps hurting himself doing soldier workouts with terrible form.
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly not talking to JD Vance anymore after the New York Times published the bombshell story reporting how Vance held multiple secret meetings behind his back to advocate for releasing allegations in the Epstein Files that incriminated him.
