Dadaist graffiti news. Halfway true comedy and satire for your doomscrolling by Dash MacIntyre. I don't report the facts, I improve them.
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The Halfway Post
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Trouble in paradise? More like trouble in a dumpster fire.
BREAKING: The relationship between Donald Trump and JD Vance has never been more strained or icy as it has become obvious to everyone that Vance is repeatedly leaking to the media about the Epstein Files and Iran War to distance himself from Trump's debacles and imploding legacy.
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly not talking to JD Vance anymore after the New York Times published the bombshell story reporting how Vance held multiple secret meetings behind his back to advocate for releasing allegations in the Epstein Files that incriminated him.
BREAKING: Donald Trump reportedly fell asleep today during his daily "Person, woman, man, camera, TV" cognitive test in between "man" and "camera."
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly furious with JD Vance for leaking to the New York Times about all the top secret Epstein Files meetings, and Trump is accusing Vance of plotting to force him out of the presidency.
He's only a genius negotiator in his dreams
BREAKING: Donald Trump’s cabinet members are increasingly unsure how long they should go on complimenting his leadership and genius during cabinet meetings when he’s visibly sleeping.
BREAKING: Elon Musk just made history as the first person in Jeffrey Epstein's "do-not-invite list" to become a trillionaire.
BREAKING: Donald Trump reportedly keeps waking up in the Oval Office from his hourly naps yelling, "I did it! The Iranians signed my peace deal! I'm a genius!" before realizing he had only been dreaming.
