If I were a romance author I would make books about sexy vampires seducing women, but instead of being rich and mysterious, they'd be autistic and barely middle class.
His fingers traced a slow, gentle line along the tops of his anime figurines, sending shivers up her spine. "If only that Haruhi Suzumiya was me..." she thought longingly, her toes digging into the vaguely brownish carpet of his unrenovated mid-80s bedroom floor.