Seeking a lawyer who wants to help me sue the city of Chicago to force them to paint speed bumps yellow like every other place on planet fucking earth
Legitimate exchange I had today at a conference
“Hey this is [legal name]”
“Oh is he the one that got laid off from [consultants]?”
“Yeah”
“Oh so then you’d understand why I hate Matt”
That’s it. I’ve peaked. No drug can make me feel that high again.
Right side of the bed: pillow, blanket, me
Left side of the bed: iPad, Hawaiian rolls, vista print envelopes, pup hood, earplugs, a knife, portable charger, and a pair of shorts
Sawzall + pliers = any door opened
This blueskeet brought to you by Hennessy and sweet tea
Praying each and every day that a motherfucker would try me 🙏
This blueskeet brought to you by Hennessy and sweet tea
