I'm not convinced Miss World or Miss Universe are keeping up with the times.
That's why I'm officially launching my campaign for Miss Anthropic 2026.
As a pale ginger, I do reverse hibernation: winter’s for going out, eating, drinking and seeing people on purpose. Then once summer arrives, I take to my bed like a victorian invalid and will be surviving on picky bits and avoiding the sun like it’s a debt collector.
Oh brilliant, my endometriosis has flared up in a heatwave. So my pain relief choices are either strap on a hot water bottle and recreate Pompeii,or hope something more painful distracts me…like being dissolved in a barrel of acid, or five minutesin conversation with Russell Brand explaining quinoa.
I'm not a football person, but why have we interrupted the match for what appears to be a game of naughts and crosses in an IKEA showroom?
#ENGCRO #FIFA
Sometimes I think, 'wow, this is the angriest I've ever been', then I remember when my mate's car broke down and we spent a mile pushing it uphill. It was so hard I was about to vomit up an ovary. Turns out she'd forgotten to take the handbrake off. Apparently what we'd actually broken down was me.