Happy Father’s Day to the dumpster, who is arguably my dad
A man is running through the streets of Moscow yelling "Brezhnev is an idiot, Brezhnev is an idiot." The man is promptly arrested. He is put on trial and sentenced to 25 years in prison. He got 10 years for insulting the General Secretary and 15 years for revealing a state secret.
"The Americans can't get the slime out of their capital's monument pool and will arrest you for touching it," sounds like the sort of lie they'd tell us in the Soviet Union so we'd stop bitching about bread lines.