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"I awaken from sleep with the unparalleled energy of someone who has an entire school-sanctioned day in which to humiliate their offspring."
Itinerary of a Parent Chaperoning a Field Trip, as Imagined by Their Middle Schooler
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“I awaken from sleep with the unparalleled energy of someone who has an entire school-sanctioned day in which to humiliate their offspring.”
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McSweeney's