Mother-in-law's fess. She has dementia & it makes her randy. She's been kicked out of her nursing home for shagging other residents, including one old man who had a wife who visited & found her in his bed. Very funny, but less amusing is the fact she is now coming to live with us
When I met my partner he joked that he was a bit clumsy, but this was a huge understatement. I've saved him from death at least 5 times including stopping him walking in front of a speeding bus, electrocution & choking. I want to break up but scared he wont last a week without me
This morning I was in the cafe at work whilst wearing my AirPods. An annoying co-worker came over to try to talk to me so I made the hand signal to show I was on a phone call. I was in fact listening to Fat Les - Vindaloo
I told my mum that I didn't want to have piano lessons any more because I didn't like the piano. It's actually because the teacher was bald and her bald spot scared me, like an evil character from a movie.