My beard turned silver. I've grown it to mid chest. I can now sit in priority seats on buses without anyone asking me to stand. I'd definitely stand if asked but I've never been asked.
Returned home to find police at my door, someone broke into the shop downstairs, when I identified myself they called off the search in the garden for my body, they said they looked upstairs where I lived and said there were "signs of a struggle." I thought it was reasonably tidy
A kindly old couple used to run a great sweet shop in my hometown. Unfortunately for them, and - in the long term, me and my mates - they had very poor eyesight. We robbed them even blinder, and they closed within the year. I regret that. Last place I ever saw a curly-wurly.
Slept with my favourite guitarist. Met him as a fan, then talked & became friends. After a decade, we hooked up a few times. Was nothing like the rock star trope. He was nervous, awkward, vulnerable, attentive, & very human. We lost touch over time. Fame seems lonely. Poor guy.
I cook dinner more often than I do my wife when I put food on our plates I swap the empty plates without her knowledge so I get the food meant for her on my plate this way she cannot poison me.
Left the UK at the end of Covid for pastures new. Five years later, now a full national & EU passport holder. Seeing how other countries news media portrays the UK and laughs at the hugely stupid mistakes it has made have completely vindicated my decision.
Man on the train with his mistress loudly slagging off his wife. Unfortunately he's doing it in such detail I've found her instagram and work phone number and am about to whatsapp her video of their convo.
I went to a new hairdresser as my usual lady was all booked up for ages. I feel like I've had an affair, and am afraid to go crawling back to her. Sorry Emma, I made a mistake! Jenna doesn't compare to you!