you know what i miss? all day rain. i can remember going to school with it raining and it would still be raining at the end of the day. i remember people saying "it's going to rain all day". does that even happen anymore? now rain is like "HEY IM HERE FOR 15 MINUTES AND THEN IM OUT".
no one has wished me a happy father's day yet *TURBO NOSE SCRUNCH*
butter is best consumed on toast when it's partially melted and still partially cold. before you attempt this though you should have fundamental understanding of thermodynamics, materials science, fluid dynamics, statistical mechanics, and at least some food science. 🧈🍞🔬⚗️🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰
i thought everyone was talking about buying new steam cleaners and i was proud of everyone for being responsible
i should move to branson missouri and open a chuck e cheese.
"there goes old man elliot.. he owns the chuck e cheese out by skateworld"
"daaaang! really?"
"rumor has it that he's the only one who wears the costume"
i almost BARFED while mowing today :D :D it's TOO HOT. although, jumping in the pool right after mowing is a pleasure. it pleasured me. i am pleasured. *lawyers whisper in my ear* pleased? what? D:<
🥪🥪🥪🚗✨️
my lawyers have advised me that i don't qualify BUT they gave me a participation ribbon :D HOORAY! :D :D 🏅🏅🏅 i asked what i have to do to be a dad but they said they're not allowed to talk about it D:<