Central Asia wanderer 🇰🇿🇸🇱🇰🇬 | Cricket writer 🏏 | Also Norfolk, Eurasia and Ukraine 🇺🇦
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Jonathan Campion
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BREAKING: Details have emerged that four New Zealand cricketers didn't bring their empty flat white cups back to the counter at an independent coffee shop in Pimlico the day after the first Test. One player is said to have taken a chair from a neighbouring table for their small child without asking.
BREAKING: Harry Brook to be named as England Test captain.
"He is widely respected by team-mates", an ECB source has commented. "We thank Ben for all his efforts, but feel that Harry can find better nightclubs going forward."
Brook's tenure is due to begin at The Lightbox on Thursday night.
Replace Ben Stokes for the summer with a Division One captain who can bat 7: Jonny Bairstow or John Simpson. Consider Stokes for selection on merit as a bowler from next year.
Drop Gus Atkinson for the series. Replace him with a seam bowling number 8: Craig Overton or Jordan Clark.
Enough now.
I thought the U2 goalkeeper played for Morocco?
I don't speak much German, but that's most certainly a dank hat.
