Wife just picked me up under a cup with an index card underneath and took me outside. Does anyone know how to get back in the house?
out on my Ass because I REFUSE to stop referring to vacuuming the house as "'cuumming all over the place" in text messages and various communiqués with my wife
*watching my cat stare at the back of an armchair for 35 minutes* “This guy’s high as hell”
Sent an amazon package to my enemy's house so I can get a picture of his porch for reconnaissance
Had a banana water ice and it tasted great. Not posting a picture because it looked like a pile of snow in a parking lot four days after it’s been plowed but you’re gonna have to take my word for it
Imagine being the dude who found a video tape out in the woods expecting some weird porn but when he played it at home, it turned out to be some college kids getting fucking owned by the Blair Witch
Crazy to think that if the song Redbone had never been made, Republicans would have had to come up with a different omni-slur
Probably the worst opening shot for a trailer I've seen in my life. Perfect distillation of the "your parents just recommended the worst Netflix movie of all time" 2020's aesthetic. Why is there a brutalist bus stop in the middle of the woods?
