I, for one, am really glad that as a whole most of society has stopped bedazzling bones. I think they're great in their natural form and it killed me a little inside when I'd see thick paint and rhinestones all over them.
I get knocked down
And l stay there
i aint ever getting up again
POV me at the end of the year very, very tired.b
Apparently, it's uncouth to call your brother and casually ask if he's busy while you're lying prone on the concrete outside the house because you twisted your ankle. He started talking about heading out to the gym and I was like, "cool, on your way out can you pick me up off the ground?"
Gonna have a microfiction published on a website next month 🤯
Per my Friend:
"Last Christmas I gave you a broken toe, but the very next day you cried like a hoe, this year to save me from tears I'll give it to someone pro Israel. 🎶"
Lmao, I broke my toe the day before Christmas last year🎄
Sometimes you just really need to spend all day playing Need For Speed with your wife.
Women don't want chocolate for Valentine's Day. They want inalienable rights. #happyvalentinesday
My wife: You couldn't put my saxophone together
Me: *a person who has never touched a saxophone proceeds to put her saxophone together for her* 🤷 How hard can it be? Boys do it.
Help!
My wife just said I was bad at faces.
I HAVE FACEBLINDNESS 🤣🤦
Out here doing the Lord's work. Educating the masses
