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I suspect they took in someone i knew, same city, same volunteering experience, probs better oral and voila. No double profile, so i'm out. Granted, it's very selective. I passed first round. But there's an aftertaste of "you did everything, and yet again, unlucky. You weren't enough."

Not great. I just learned i wasn't taken in the peer worker program i'm preparing for like, one year now? My application was ultra solid according to everyone, i had my chances. Yet, the oral went wrong (weirdass jury), so i'm not surprised that much. It still hurts. a lot.

It's often like this. People calling me great, saying i have potential, that i could do great things!! They used to say "if only you tried harder" but even when i do, at my own level, not enough. I'm not the chosen one, the lucky one, never. It's just extremely tirering.

this program could change everything. Get me back into a job, out of living from benefits i could loose in a few years, and it's in the city my friends live, so easier to justify moving out. I have to wait for one more year. It's been 31 years i'm waiting for my life to begin. It's long.

I try my best not to grow bitter, and envy everyone that do. But it's hard, always being the one left behind. I try to remember limbus company's Don quichotte quote: "Onward rocinante, Again and again, until the dream is within our grasp!"but man. i'm tired.