So now me and my mum are looking through these photos of long lost family members.
Jew, she says. Gypsy, she points at another. That's why you're so dark, she looks accusingly at me. I just laugh. Scally, she points at another. That'll be your side, I say.
This is brilliant.
I've come for a pint. Happy Saturday, you bundles of delight, you...
We have to do new safeguarding pictures for the school. When I got mine, I asked them (jokingly) to improve it for me. This is what they sent.