I don’t even have to lift the band off my eyes to skip the podcast ads eat shit ryan reynolds
you may think that everything is just getting worse and worse but my $8 Chinese-made bedtime headphones died after 3 years so I replaced them & on the new ones, the 2 buttons are no longer volume up/down; they’re skip 15 seconds back/ahead. I always wanted this. I never asked. They just did it
I assume the "leaked DMs" in which Eric Trump asks a UFC commentator which way the fights are rigged so he can place a bet aren't actually real because I don't believe Eric Trump is literate
my husband: actually I said ‘the guy YOU called a little bitch.’ I would never
(ten minutes later)
me: who just fouled
him: little bitch and his gangly ass arms
Mastodon has permanently banned me for saying that I was temporarily banned from Bsky for telling a pedophile apologist to kill himself (and for then requesting a screenshot of the Mastodon user who said I was ableist lmao)
Reflecting Pool Discourse brought up a core memory. My dad worked at Dupont & on Take Your Daughter to Work Day they had a little bus tour of the grounds. I was like 9 and had vaguely heard that Dupont was evil. We passed a stream and I demanded to know why it was so brown.
The tour guide nervously chuckled and said that actually that color was normal. I spent my entire life in the woods and had never seen a blue stream but I confidently stated that a healthy ecosystem would be bluer. I spent the rest of the day in the corner of my annoyed dad's office.
I'm not shocked...I posted about it there 1) bc it was v funny and 2) to let ppl who are also over there know what was up, but a LOT of ppl there pretended I was angry about the suspension/insisting Bsky change their rules. I figure they reported me. I hope this finally brings them the joy they seek
I’m excited for everyone to now learn that the knicks aren’t named after pants. true fans (ppl who hate NY but love silly lore) know that they’re actually named after a satirical imaginary wealthy family with a silly name. Look it up, you’ll be delighted.
As a Philly kid I have no dog in the Knicks/Spurs fight but maybe bc I hate NY I started building an argument w my husband about how teams with more money should get a handicap so teams can’t buy championships. To illustrate I did a search and I think this says it all