I got both a raise at work AND my coworkers voted me for the employee spotlight and I just 😠morale boost frfr
Like if I disappeared ( in a ghost everyone way not a kms way ) it wouldn't make any difference. It sucks. I know the friends I have will understand how I'm feeling is just a mental health thing and not a personal thing which I'm so thankful for. I just wish it wasn't so deep rooted in me.
And it's not like I don't know i do have friends that care about me, but that lingering feeling of being so easily forgettable and never a priority and feeling overshadowed by anything and everything never goes away.
I've always felt like I had to be the friend that had it together and because of that I'm the one that gets checked in on the least. I find myself so full of sadness and anger and get irritated so easily.
I always dreamed of being within walking distance of a cozy little local cafe and today I found that. I feel like a little part of my heart is healed with contentment just having been able to have the experience today <3
Just got temporarily promoted to keyholder at my job so I'm doubling this energy and sending it out to whoever needs it 😤
Sat here crying (/pos) for a solid like 10 minutes because someone actually commissioned Neff for me Just Because and it's the first time someone's ever done that for me.
I hung out with my cousin today c: we had dumplings and boba. 10/10 delicious big back activities
I have so many things that I wanna do for myself but often times can't focus enough to do it and I prioritize important things that NEED to be done first to the point I'm too tired afterwards to DO said things for myself.
I'm starting to wonder if PDD is a possible condition for me rn because the way I can maintain what I need to while constantly feeling tired and alone and empty and sad and not as important than others for as long as I have (years) is no joke.
