There's no room for improvement. I'm sure by now I've already been saturated by all the earthbound chemicals.
Life is a highway
I wanna resurface it every year🎶
Sometimes I talk in cursive so the kids cant understand what I'm saying about them
Can’t sleep? Simple methods that work:
• study hurricane forecast
• who hates me
• what did i forget
• relive supreme humiliation
• win 12-yr-old argument
• buried alive? could happen
• what i did vs should have done
• dead people i miss
• what if i’m bad
• why do i say stuff
• what’s my fuckin deal
ME: *points at my "World's Greatest Dad" shirt*
CO-WORKER: *points at his own "World's Greatest Dad" shirt*
ME: *takes a sip from my "World's Greatest Dad" mug*
CO-WORKER: *sips from his own "World's Greatest Dad" mug*
ME: [eyes narrow] *draws "World's Greatest Dad" sword*
guy who leans against the wall with his forearm at the urinal
doctor: over the next 24 hours, collect your urine in this jug and keep it refrigerated.
me: finally, plans
Did Counting Crows ever give us a total number of crows
