I want badly to live off manual labor that is a predictable, reliable challenge that gives me actual satisfaction for completion. I'm so tired of struggling to solve computer puzzles that change all the time. I want more than ever to be the equivalent of a work horse. Ease off my fucking mind
Once I can overcome anxieties and beliefs about how behind I am, how incapable I am, how invisibly docile I am, I'll find a bit of vibrancy in who I am. I'll wing it a bit and try not to spiral. Gotta tend to the human animal as well right now. The emotional sine wave is in the dip, it swings back
Good friends who will break you the fuck out of a bad mood with a whole night of earnest conversation over food and drink are keepers.