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9h
WAIT. STOP. Chances are good you live within one hour drive of a regional/local outdoor Shakespeare festival that will very soon be performing. LIFE IS NOT MADE OF INFINITE SUMMERS. Go! See it! All the riches in the world cannot buy something better, however bad the performance is.
This will solve everything
If your establishment stocks the restroom with high quality hand towels such as these, I *will* be stealing them and putting them in my own bathroom to humiliate my guests and family with my largesse and financial success.