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#AMMR9 and #RevPit mentee | #indieinkawards finalist | ace | she/her| indie SF author + upmarket spy contemp ANCIENT AS THE STARS and STAR-CROSSED EMPIRE out now! Learn more: http://linktr.ee/mayadarjani

Maya Darjani | SFF author

That's where I am on Pride. Not fully out, not embracing my identity, broken, unsure. What I was recently told was that's exactly why Pride is for me. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I don't know. Bluesky is probably the safe place for this. But everywhere else in queer spaces, there's erasure. I exist.

Because he's sweet but he doesn't quite understand all of it. All he knows is to be kind and patient and never pushing. But also it took years to get to the point where there weren't constant hints & winks and expectations. God forbid I ever tell him that I've recently realized I'm also aro. Nope.

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Maya Darjani | SFF author

Hello hello! I'm pretty sure I'm in this Pride Bundle on itch, even though I can't find my book cover (Literally. Erasure 🤣) Regardless, check it out!

I am in a straight presenting marriage. I have four kids. A lovely husband. I'm not discriminated against because no one in my real life knows that I'm ace. 'Course that means Bluesky is the only place I can talk about this because people follow me other places.

I'm a stay at home, Christian, homeschooling mom in a deep fucking red state and it's so so tempting for people to think I'm not hurting bc I appear mainstream (I'm also a poc but let's ignore that for a sec). But I exist. I'm here, and I'm queer. Happy Pride

I have trouble claiming Pride for myself, for those reasons. But for ppl who say I'm just straight and a prude: I've been suicidal because I can't be the wife I thought I was supposed to be or my husband. I already have chronic illnesses and ADHD. He has to take on a lot. And I can't even give (3)

Re: my last thread. I 'get' where erasure comes from. Ex: my kid is trans. He's already faced more shit in his young life than I *ever* will. He has supportive parents, friends, & school and it's still ... Hard. Really hard. But we can't turn queer liberation into the pain Olympics. We just can't.

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Him a robust love life (I'm generally sex repulsed or neutral, depending). The messages I get from the mainstream are that I'm broken, or evil because of a dead bedroom, or faking, or a prude. I've been assaulted in college because I was a virgin who didn't care about hooking up with boys.

Okay buckle up because for pride I'm going to talk about asexuality. Now I'm an elder millennial who had no idea what being ace meant. I grew up thinking I was very straight. (Okay. I have an aesthetic attraction to women as well but I thought that was just, you know, being normal). (1)

I'm constantly not enough. Not human enough, not woman enough. Not experienced enough because I rarely find joy or pleasure in the act. Until I understood what being ace meant, I always felt like there was this hole cut out of me. And I try not to talk about it to my (still lovely) spouse