(also like...meeting people online and transitioning that into irl friendships is a thing! and how a lot of us make friends! meeting a blank slate stranger at some event and making smalltalk starting from complete 0 isn't the be all end all of human connection)
(and this is why when i introduce people, i try to give them something shared to build on as well. "hey this is x, she's also really into final fantasy" BAM immediate conversation topic provided)
Edgar Allan Hoe
Edgar Allan Hoe
i was going to reply to some nice comments a new follower left yesterday only to find they had deleted them and unfollowed when i didn't immediately reply 😭 the gays are so fickle omg
"meet my friend, you both like x" will immediately spark a conversation. throwing me into a room with a blank slate isn't unless the other person is more skilled at getting to something beyond smalltalk quickly (some people are! and i can catch that and respond to it!). sorry.
i can't do small talk and that's not gonna change no matter how much y'all pathologize that. some of us are just autistic in certain ways 😭
"how do you get to know someone then?" by starting with a shared interest you're aware of or something specific rather than the weather or "how are you"!
i'll talk your ear off at our first meeting if i gather we have an interest in common but small talk with me isn't gonna lead anywhere i'm sorry. it's not a skill i have and i spent decades trying to acquire it unsuccessfully. at some point the pathologizing of that just becomes ableism.
Edgar Allan Hoe
Edgar Allan Hoe
Edgar Allan Hoe
there's a reason I aim to meet new people in environments that establish shared interests a bunch and tend to wear markers of some interests in those scenarios that can spark a specific conversation
