Stuck on Earth with the humans. That's OK. I like humans. I like their cats better. Not the real ALF, just parody, all respect to Paul Fusco and Alien Productions.
Mastodon: @[email protected]
Author's personal account: @john-pilgrim.bsky.social
The ol' ALFer
I mean, I've got a two liter of Mr Pibb and some pretzels and... um, a book. It's called "12 Ways to Cut Effective Mortise and Tenon Joints". And if this isn't the makings of a party, then clearly you have not met Mr William Tanner, no sir.
I had a strange dream last night where I became king of your galaxy, but not everyone knew it. People would walk up to me like 'Hi, I'm Bob from Cleveland' and I'd say 'I'm ALF, Lord of the Milky Way', and they'd say 'ALF, can I have the remote to change the channel' and I'm all 'did you hear me'.
IT'S FRI-I-I-DAY NI-I-I-GHT!
WHERE MY PEEPS AT?
...what?
I was told I had peeps... 😐
This letter reads: Dear ALF, how do you find time between eating, laying on the couch, eating, hunting in the backyard, and eating, to drop wisdom on Bluesky?
And I'll level with you. You guys aren't always getting my best. 😕
There's an Alien Task Force van outside. Kate is standing there talking to a man in a trenchcoat and gloves, and pointing at our door. Mrs Ochmonek is at the back door with a pitchfork. Willie, if now isn't the time to panic, could you tell me maybe when it is so I can set my alarm?
If you're dumb enough to leave your guns out where a cat can get to them, no amount of "talk" is going to save you the first time breakfast is ten minutes late. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Cat owners politely call it "zoomies". Let's call it what it is. Proof that cats take their instructions from hell only.
If Willie developed a cartoon it would be like 'The Windsor Knot Crew' and they'd dress up and help each other with homework and discuss college applications and develop boring hobbies and I think I could cry myself to sleep thinking about how unfunny it would be.
Willie! I think I've rediscovered coffee! I'd really like to talk about it... whoa, when did you last clean your blinds? Got a Q-tip? It's OK, I'll just blow on 'em WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. WHOOOOOOOOOOOO. Better! Now about coffee... wait, your windowsill is filthy! WHOOOOOOO....
// Been meaning to post this. A little trivia about Paul from I think the Muppet Wiki:
