I foster communities, I shape opinions, and I dance the dream. columnist for Bay Area Reporter and online support staff. ⚧ and proud.
Gwendolyn Ann Smith
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I had an inkling about this at 3.
I first heard about trans people when I was 8.
I knew for sure by 12.
I didn’t come out until 24.
Meanwhile, I'm going to be listening to that album a fair bit, I suspect. There are some serious bangers on there. Also, some that really hit so very hard.
But to a non-trans person, it happens in an instant.
They “never see the signs,” because we often do a great job of hiding them.
For them, we didn’t think about this at all.
I’m not going to say every trans person, but 99.44% of trans people have put an astounding level of thought into transition, and have likely tried all they could to fight against it.
I know I did.
We spend years — decades — of our lives trying to grasp this element of ourselves. We often fight it tooth and nail, coming up with a myriad of excuses and delays. Our inner monologues on our very trans nature are lengthy.
I wish there was a way I could get people who are not trans to grasp that, though. If only so they could understand that this isn’t the flight of fancy they seem to believe it is.
We are the experts about our own flesh.
I want them to comprehend that we know what we’re doing, ya know?
Really, I want them to leave us the fuck alone so we can do what we need to do for ourselves.
Or, I don’t know, bring us a nice cup of tea every so often. Something other than what we're all dealing with in this moment.
