When he was younger and hornier (and before the zeitgeist changed), Simmons would analogize athletes to famous babes, which was dumb but at least legible. Now it's like "Josh Giddey, House, is he in the Stanley Tucci Zone?" and you have to piece the meaning together like it's an ancient scroll
I do give Bill Simmons credit for remaining the exact same level of annoying for my entire adult life. You turn on Bill Simmons today and he will be saying “Robert Duvall, he’s one of those actors I call a Larry Bird actor because he can do everything you need”
