tirelessly guarding the grain (me) ✔️
repelling the mousey bandits ✔️
not messing with the livestock (his brother) ❌
not stealing numnums ❌
my cats would be on a PIP after their annual review
18th century "cat contract" (納貓兒契式; based on a Yuan-dynasty original), laying out the cat's duties and responsibilities: tirelessly guarding the grain, repelling the "mousey bandits" (鼠賊), not messing with the livestock, not stealing numnums "of any kind whatsoever" (不得偷盜食諸般).
