⭐️ 2026 TOUR ⭐️ + BESTSELLING BOOK ‘Namaste Motherf*ckers’ OUT NOW! 🙏🏻 At 45, Joan Rivers told me to get into stand-up. So I did. She was 81 • Live at the Apollo • QI •
Cally Beaton
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As Elon today becomes the world’s first trillionaire, I wholeheartedly approve of this cropping up at a bus stop near the Tesla flagship showroom in Tottenham.
❤️ London.
Don’t ❤️ Musk.
Cally Beaton
When you turn up to speak at an event only to be reunited with a dear friend from uni who you lost touch with 35 years ago. Dreams do come true!
Just back from sharing a stage with Paul Sinha and Andy Parsons; splendid chaps, splendid night. Thank you, Worthing!
Steven Bartlett’s two-wines spiral is utter cock womblery. And I don’t drink.
When you’re having therapy for attachment anxiety and therapist doesn’t show up. Hope they don’t bill me for this feeling.
Or for next week’s session - dedicated to how I felt about missing this session.
Beside himself with excitement at the prospect of a road trip.
Must be a very happy dream.
My fingers are just about getting the hang of it but my brain is aching as I try to play Bach again for the first time in 40 years. Luckily this time tomorrow I’ll be out telling knob gags and universal order restored.
Much the same approach to swimming as me - quick dunk in, just long enough someone sees, gulp of water, out for a snack, walk around rest of day with one ear inside out.
