When you run for LA mayor but you’ve never voted for LA mayor before.
I mentioned your parrot here and nobody knew him
I don’t need the squirrels in my neighborhood to “fear me” but they let me get so close that I find it disrespectful
alcoholic dads are slightly charming to me because they’re always trying hard to “be a father.” like down on one knee slurring the crudest advice to their kid. “that’s what happens when you mess up. You pay the price” good shit
