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Pudge

"That wrist leash should keep you from bouncing away while we break in your new denim romper with a full day of errands. The car is getting dirty, so we'll need to hit the car wash. I might even let you work the sprayer and see what it's like to soak something other than your Huggies for once!"

Pray all you want, little guy, but there's no rainclouds coming to save you from your cousin's afternoon tea party at the park with all her friends.

Bluesky exclusive photo to remind you that my pronouns are he/him, even when posting sissy content. It's totally fine if you want to call me a "girl" or refer to me as "her" in a teasing manner, but please put some quotes on it for context.

"C'mon, squishy butt, the Daddy Express isn't leaving the station without your crinkly caboose strapped into the carseat - and Tigger too!"

Otherwise, you won't be getting lights out until the early AM diaper check Daddy normally gives you - almost always "accidentally" waking you up in the process & gloating about how his body woke him up to use the potty, while proudly confirming that you've helplessly wet your Pampers in your sleep.

"Don't act like you don't know the rules reguarding a grown-up asking you about the 'cuddle buddy' you're carrying, sport. 1. Introduce them 2. Say that you love them 3. Give them a big kiss. Well? We're waiting!"

"Naturally, there'll be a diaper change at some point along the way - I would say that exactly when that'll happen is up to you, but we both know that it's way out of your control these days!"

First the babysitter never comes back with the bedtime bottle refill they promised, making out with their boyfriend instead & leaving your nursery lights on in the process... Now, the adults are finally home & they're at it too. You just hope they decide to turn on the baby monitor for foreplay...

"Uh-oh, looks like we're fresh out of diaper disposal bags and I don't see a trash can around here. You're just gonna have to carry your new 'cuddle-buddy' around until we get back to the parking lot, champ."

16d

Trying and failing yet again to hold back the floodgates of a bladder filled to the brim from everyone getting their turn at feeding the baby his bottle, you're acutely aware that this ordeal isn't ending without a diaper change on that bench.

16d

Pudge