🛸 it, 27, agender alienferret
💔 i like of the devil a normal amount
🔞 transcentric porn, weird kinks
🐄 pfp: @genuinelybart.bsky.social
🎰 play of the devil: tinyurl.com/ofthedevil ‼️
bran 👽
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i worry this post is maybe a little too Personal or people will use it to be mean but i think part of getting better is realizing a lot of how i think is delusions. like, delusions where people are madder or care more than they do. so i am trying to sort of Move Past that
(PArcade) Making sure
bran 👽
having severe avpd and hyperfocusing on everyone's perception of you while also being a niche artist with 25k followers is sort of like if they made a new ring of hell. sometimes i'll snap out of like a three hour fugue state obsessively looking for every instance of someone hating me online
ironically... i only ever find good things. and i mean i hope to god it stays that way. but it does make me feel better most of my indirects are like "Man:) i love how bran draws girls" and not people calling for my death like i imagine everyone is at all times. i hate being this way LMAO
i also feel like i "have" to namesearch just to make sure my stalker hasn't come back to like, post my dox and stuff again, LOL. because that is also a relatively large fear of mine, even if bsky moderation is better.... but it's also just a compulsion by now, sort of like self harm, seeking it out
i wish i could be so cool and unaffected... like idgaf about what anyone says... but i care a lot all the time. i take solace knowing i CAN'T control it because it's genuine mental illness but it's also like uuughhhhh so lame. i'm improving bit by bit every day though U_U it's a slow process
